I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
