Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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