Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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