Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
