Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we should paint friendship bongs
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