If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
