Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
