i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
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I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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