She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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