there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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