Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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