I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
