this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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