i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
