the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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