oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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