You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
