What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
