i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
