she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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