i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
