They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
