Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
