If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
