He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
