you traded sex for a burrito?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I love having hate sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
