hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
