Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
