literally had 100 drinks last night.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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