I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
