People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
