just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
