She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
