Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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