You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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