Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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