Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
