So drunk its hurt
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
