Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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