are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize