We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
