He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
