Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
