I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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