oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
