I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
