Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
