I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
