While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
