Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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