i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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