I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
