it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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