im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
