Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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