wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't think brook has ever known best
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
