Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
