I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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