dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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