i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
