he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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