hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
