i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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