im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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