youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
